My Child just graduated, and I only have 12 weeks left until they leave…

My Baby is leaving for College!

As a Mom, there are specific points in your life that are big moments. The first being when you become a Mom; however that looks for you. Then there are all the baby steps and firsts in the first five years. Then, the big one, school.

Some of you may have kids that are starting school in the fall. That’s big, and I will touch on that one later. Once they start, it’s elementary school, then they go to middle school, on to high school, and then graduate.

Some kids may choose to go into the workforce. Some may decide to go to College or University. This moment is not only a big step for the kids but a massive moment in time for the parents.

For some, they choose College or University. Which could mean that your Baby is leaving the nest and moving away.

They are gaining that independence you worked so hard to instill in them. The graduates are so excited to be moving out and embarking on this adventure.

They have just walked across that stage, gathered their high school diploma, and now you only have 10-12 weeks left with them; what to do, what to do?

12 Weeks Left – Up first, Oragnaization

You can do some things as a Mom to help them get organized and prepare yourself a bit for when they go.

Organization, as boys, they thought that bedding and clothing would suffice. Well, Son, that’s not the case, and it’s Mom to the rescue.

I asked if they wanted to pick things out for their dorm rooms. I had a board on Pinterest to show them ideas; I thought it would be a team effort. I got a resounding, no, Mom, you can grab me something, and it will be fine. They didn’t understand when I came home with fans, sheets, pillows, bathroom caddy, and the list goes on. It did make me feel like I would be taking care of them from afar. I felt that if I could get them everything they might need, I hoped that they would feel comfortable in their new surroundings and thrive. In gathering all of these things for them, I think it made me more aware that they would also be leaving. I had always been part of the process for most things that they did. So in making the purchases, it helped me feel more a part of the process. Eventually, when everything got put together on the other end, my hope was the boys would see my love for them in that room.

12 Weeks left – Up next, family and friends time.

I had also counted down how many weeks we had before they left and figured out what we could cram into those weeks as a family. Time with friends was going to be necessary, and we just wanted to make the most of the time we had left before they ventured off on their own.

I always made sure to have enough food on hand so whenever they had friends over, they could stay and eat and then sit around and play cards or something.

We weren’t always involved in the games, but we provided a space where they were welcome. We had to tell them to be quiet at 2 am only a few times because we had work the following day. We recognized that all too quickly, that noise would go away. My suggestion to you, embrace the noise while you have it.

I also planned a family trip. Taylor wanted to go fishing, so we did that with another family.

He was able to take an 8×10 picture with him to the dorm of the lunker he caught on that trip. He also got to take the scar behind his ear from the lure Rachel hooked in his head! All good memories to take with him and feel that love! We fished before Garrett went away to school as well. We have many stories about how we had to catch dinner off the dock on a windy night because I left the premade spaghetti sauce in the freezer at home. Once we were back, Garrett was more about spending time with his friends, so again, we tried to do as much as possible to foster that for him.

Family Time

We camped, ate dinner as much as possible as a family, and went as a family to get ice cream. We talked about what it was going to be like for them on this new path. We talked about being nervous, and we also talked about how much we would miss them. During family dinners, I would suggest that you encourage them to get involved with as much as possible on campus when they arrive. It helps them find their tribe. Both our boys got involved and have made lifelong friends through the process.

When they leave…

When the first one leaves, you miss them, but it’s not much different. You still have one (or more) at home that requires your time and love. Some moms have shared with me that they cried their eyes out and were a blubbering mess. Some shed a tear here and there, and some were just happy their kid was out on their own. However, you handle your situation in a way that is best for you—no shame in any of it.

When your last one leaves, life takes on a whole new look. It is still exciting that your child is moving on to his/her next chapter, but this time, so are you! What does life look like without kids, how do I feel about them not being here, what am I going to do with my time, am I going to feel depressed? All good questions to ask, some you can answer, and some you have to wait and see.

The Empty Nesters

I was a little nervous about what I was going to do with my time. So, I filled our weekends and weeks with all sorts of adventures. Garrett played football at U of A, so we had weekends where we went to the games. I planned weekend get-togethers. We ate out one day a week, like a date night. I kept us so busy that the eight months the kids were away seemed like 2 weeks.

I can tell you that if you take the time when your kids go off to school and focus back on your relationship, for us, we fell in love again. Not that we ever fell out of love. It was just a new time in our life to get reacquainted without external factors in the house. It felt like we were back in college and getting to do what we wanted when we wanted. Kevin and I enjoyed getting to know each other again, sans kids.

They may live somewhere else, but they still need you.

You are not off the hook as a parent when the kids leave to go to school. They still need you; it is just in a different way. You may have to call them more, and don’t be offended if they can’t talk because they are running off to do something with a group of friends. That’s what we want for them, to be involved and become part of a community. I also learned only to ask, are you passing. I didn’t ask for specifics, and I put it on them. They may differ with me on this point, but I honestly just cared if they were passing.

In conclusion, if your son or daughter is heading off to College in the fall, you can capitalize on the time you have left with them. Make space for them, ask them what they want to do before they leave, throw them a going away party, take a vacation together, just hang out together. Oh, one last thing, make a family chat for texting.

Or make one with the child that is away along with Mom and Dad. That way, one parent doesn’t feel left out. With technology these days, you can stay connected if you are near or far.

You can also start your next chapter. You just have to take a step ahead, just like your child is doing.